Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
