Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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