: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have post one night stand depression
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize