Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
