Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
