Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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