I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
