he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
