Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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