"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
