some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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