i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize