I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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