Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
