no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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