is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize