I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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