Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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