He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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