hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
