She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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