So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
