6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We left an ass print on the piano.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
