she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
