hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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