Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
