More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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