guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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