Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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