Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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