So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
