Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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