Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
