ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
