Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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