And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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