How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize