Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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