i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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