My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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