What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
