one might say we're banned from that church
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
