i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She bit a glass in half.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
