dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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