when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
