you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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