Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
