I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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