STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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