And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
