Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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