dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
