I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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