I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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