Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize