At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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