I'm pants shitting drunk right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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