Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
