how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
sarcasm needs its own font
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
