The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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