My first STD was from a foam party
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
