I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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