I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How's work?
Spinning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
